Products that Have Been Officially Banned

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Whole Foods Warns of Layoffs and Smaller Stores. (The Stranger)

Blaming a tough economy, Whole Foods executives sent an ominous letter to all employees in its Pacific Northwest stores last month that warns of potential layoffs, announces a hiring freeze, and says new stores are on hold.

“Many teams are clearly overstaffed for their current sales and are at the point where labor needs to be reduced…” the memo says. It adds that as “sales soften,” the company has accumulated $59,000 in labor deficits. “Team sales and labor will be reviewed in January and tough decisions may be made if we are unable to achieve sales to labor balance by that time.” The memo says no layoffs will occur before January.

Apropos to this and this? I dunno. I ended my boycott after a few hours as I needed some salad dressing.

Tuesday, December 9th | No comments

Check out the Dude’s place for a good enough reason.

Monday, December 1st | 1 comment

And thus, fuck off iPhone.

And BTW, send that bill for that $175 early cancellation penalty fee straight to a collection agency. I’m positive when I have to get another 30-year mortgage in 6-7 years, it will be an albatross around my neck.

Friday, July 11th | 11 comments

Apparently, the Associated Press now charges for any excerpt (fair use conventions notwithstanding) for nesting more than four words of their original content in a <blockquote> tag (and linking to them, even).

If the AP wants to do a story on the “blogosphere” reaction to their fantastic new policy, and wishes to quote this blog (not that they would, but just in case), I’ll provide a redacted nugget that they can lift gratis:

“AP: Suck my left ****”

(Via this blog).

Monday, June 16th | No comments

Starbucks axes sandwiches as part of fix. (AP/Yahoo! News)

The scent of ham, eggs, cheese and bacon will soon stop competing with the aroma of coffee in Starbucks stores as hot breakfast sandwiches become the first casualty of the company’s battle to win back customers.

The sandwiches, which will disappear by this fall, boost a typical store’s annual revenue by $35,000, so pulling them off the menu will cost at first. Chairman and Chief Executive Howard Schultz said that proves the company isn’t letting the soft economy distract it from committing to big changes that will pay off over the long haul.

“The decision and the courage it takes to remove something when there’s pressure on the business — like the sandwiches — is emblematic that we’re going to build for the long-term and get back to the roots and the core of our heritage, which is the leading roaster of specialty coffee in the world,” Schultz told The Associated Press on Wednesday after the company released its financial results for the first fiscal quarter.

Whatever.

Thursday, January 31st | No comments

Aquafina labels to spell out source – tap water. (CNN)

PepsiCo Inc. will spell out that its Aquafina bottled water is made with tap water, a concession to the growing environmental and political opposition to the bottled water industry. According to Corporate Accountability International, a U.S. watchdog group, the world’s No. 2 beverage company will include the words “Public Water Source” on Aquafina labels.

People are fucking idiots. Fuck bottled water.

Friday, July 27th | 2 comments

I have officially banned these products from my household, due to the offensive and annoying nature of their advertising.

The updated list, as it stands now:

  • Vitamin Water
  • Capital One
  • Geico Insurance
  • Bud Light
  • Las Vegas

Monday, June 25th | 4 comments