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I’m currently watching “All About Dung” on The History Channel, which is a fascinating look at the history of human excrement.
Join host Monty Halls as he investigates the historical, medical, scientific and evolutionary importance of poop on an excremental safari guaranteed to fascinate even the most squeamish of viewers. You’ll be surprised by the amazing manner in which the world puts dung to use. Discover that through a 14,000-year-old human dung deposit it has been determined that humans inhabited North America 1300 years earlier than previously thought. Climb a 100-foot mountain of bat guano in Borneo that is teeming with insect life. Travel to India and view housewarming rituals using sacred cow dung as good luck. Finally Halls drinks coffee made from poop and investigates, through their large droppings, why mammoths might have disappeared.
I learned that Calcutta, India, has one of the world’s most advanced and “green” systems for dealing with its overwhelming supply of human shit, producing the base fodder from which an abundance of crops and fish are harvested. Dung is truly the heart of recycling, fully exemplified by enterprising Calcutta natives who, using cow poop, repurpose batteries to provide power yet again to the same battery. In Africa, elephant crap is being used to make paper. And here we are, in America, separating glass and newspaper once a week in logo adorned plastic bins. (To our credit, we do recycle our celebrities in cable reality shows).
Did you know if you could harness all of human excrement for energy purposes, you could satisfy 10-20% of the world energy needs? Did I just BLOW YOUR MIND?!? As a case in point, the host of the show took us underground to the London sewage system, where filtered sewage sludge was being fed into a turbine, where it is incinerated and turned into energy.
The engineer who oversaw London’s sewage-to-fuel efforts took the program’s host into the heart of the operation, and pulled out a cylindrical cross-section of the solid waste. Amongst the thick, dark, murky sludge, there was a single, solitary kernel of sweet corn.
A gay guy in California has now been married for a week and is presumably very happy. My kid still hates me and my wife is still telling me to take out the trash AND mow the lawn.
Shit. Piss. Fuck. Cunt. Cocksucker. Motherfucker. Tits.
Hate Groups’ Newest Target. (Washington Post)
“I haven’t seen this much anger in a long, long time,” said Billy Roper, a 36-year-old who runs a group called White Revolution in Russellville, Ark. “Nothing has awakened normally complacent white Americans more than the prospect of America having an overtly nonwhite president.”
…
“What you try not to think about is that maybe if Obama wins, it will create a very demoralizing effect,” Doggett said. “Maybe people see him in office, and it’s like: ‘That’s it. It’s just too late. Look at what’s happened now. We’ve endured all these defeats, and we’ve still got a multicultural society.’ And then there’s just no future for our viewpoint.”
A lesbian in California can now get visitation rights to see her partner of 40 years if she happens to fall into a coma in the ICU, and my wife is still telling me to take out the trash.
Teh Gay have been marrying now for a couple days. My wife is still telling me to take out the trash.
Christ, Lara Logan is hot.
While on a late-night grocery run, after watching the Lakers lay a brick in Game 6 against the Boston Celtics, I got that cheap, tawdry urge that can only be sated by fast food or paying a hermaphrodite for sex. However, I am a weird person in that I need tomatoes on my fast food. In fact, I always tend to ask for extra tomatoes.
I first stopped by Burger King, as I read some news release that BK had returned tomatoes to their menu items, including their popular Whopper™ sandwich. However, the lady behind the counter took an almost exculpatory glee in denying my tomato request, as they indeed did not have tomatoes in the kitchen.
Next was McDonald’s, with the same negative result. Arby’s had their disclaimer plastered on the door of the restaurant, so I didn’t even have to go in.
Taco Bell, however, had tomatoes.
So there you go. Taco Bell, I may not again grace your sterile environs for some time, but don’t take it personally, as I have a newfound respect for you. Yes, your ground meat appears to have been extracted from an industrial barrel-sized can, and close to 43% of the ingredients of your 7-Layer Burrito may not actually exist in any natural state, but when I look back on the Spring of 2008, the Season of the Great Tomato Scare, of $4/gas, of the epochal $5 Submarine Sandwich War, I will always think fondly of Taco Bell, my very own transgender hooker.
Corn Jumps to Record as Floods in Midwest Threaten U.S. Crops. (Bloomberg)
Corn soared to a record in Chicago, extending its rally to a ninth straight session, as floods in the Midwest threatened production in the U.S., the world’s largest producer and exporter. Soybeans rose to a three-month high.
“The U.S. Midwest, including the flood-ravaged mid- Mississippi Valley, will be pounded by another round of severe weather through tonight, private forecaster Accuweather.com said on its Web site yesterday. “Heavy downpours caused by the thunderstorms threaten to aggravate existing flooding or cause new flash flooding problems.”
Lawmakers subpoena 9 food testing companies. (MSNBC)
Lawmakers voted Thursday to subpoena nine companies responsible for analyzing the most dangerous food entering the country as part of an investigation that gained more urgency with an outbreak of salmonella from tomatoes.
…
Stupak said nine of 10 companies declined to submit information voluntarily out of concern that the food import companies that hire them would then sue them for breaching confidentiality agreements. The records sought related to testing of food found not to meet FDA standards for import into the U.S.
Another “free” market success story.
Fat Profits. (Portfolio)
The uniqueness isn’t the only thing that’s hard to get your head around. During the past few years, CKE Restaurants, the parent company of Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s, has employed an audacious go-for-bloat approach that defies just about everything you’ve come to assume about the business of modern fast food. (See nutrition data for CKE franchises and other fast-food chains.) In an age when other chains have been forced to at least pretend that they care about the health of their customers and have started offering packets of apples and things sprinkled with walnuts and yogurt, Hardee’s and Carl’s Jr. are purposely running in the opposite direction, unapologetically creating an arsenal of higher-priced, high-fat, high-calorie monstrosities—pioneering avant-garde concepts such as “meat as a condiment” and “fast-food porn”—and putting the message out to increasingly receptive consumers with ads that are often as controversial as the burgers themselves.
Today for lunch I had a roast turkey sandwich with sliced tomatoes from a round fruit that to my knowledge was not vine-ripened and did not hail from California, Tennessee, Israel, or the Netherlands. I used half of the tomato, and chopped the rest for an afternoon-snack salad.
I’m monitoring the situation and I’ll post to this blog tomorrow if I die.
NFL great and world class narcissist Deion Sanders is currently a guest on Paula Deen’s Party on the Food Network. Prime Time is making an oyster stew with his lovely wife, Pilar. Prime Time stole 56 bases in 115 games for the Cincinnati Reds in 1997.
He followed some country singer who made a stuffed beef tenderloin roast with Paula. She compelled him to “beat his meat”, an act which he claimed reminded him of “eighth grade.” She then brought up the curious fact that the country singer in question sang at Anna Nicole Smith’s funeral. He sang “Wings of a Dove.”
They then went to commercial.
The perfectly healthy 15-year-old girl who has eaten nothing but chips for 10 years. (Mail Online)
A girl of 15 has eaten almost nothing but CHIPS for the past 10 years.
Faye Campbell, of Stowmarket, Suffolk, has lived on chipped potatoes and refused to eat nearly anything else since she was a tot.
The Stowmarket High School pupil has a bizarre physical condition which made her ill every time she tried anything other than chips.
I got a letter from the government, the other day. I opened and read it, it said they were suckers…who gave me $600!!!
I bought six pounds of jamón ibérico from from these guys and made a couple Hawaiian pizzas (turned out ok, needed more pineapple and ranch).
What did you do with your rebate check from Uncle Sam?
Caterers find eco-standards tough to chew. (Denver Post)
Caterers praise the committee and the city for their green ambitions, but some say they’re baffled by parts of the RFP.
“I think it’s a great idea for our community and our environment. The question is, how practical is it?” asks Nick Agro, the owner of Whirled Peas Catering in Commerce City. “We all want to source locally, but we’re in Colorado. The growing season is short. It’s dry here. And I question the feasibility of that.”
Agro’s biggest worry is price. Using organic and local products hikes the costs.“There is going to be sticker shock when those bids start coming in,” he says. “I’ll cook anything, but I’ve had clients who have approached me about all-organic menus, and then they see the organic stuff pretty much doubles your price.”
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Joanne Katz, owner of Three Tomatoes Catering in Denver, cheers the committee’s environmental aspirations and is eager to get involved with the convention, but she wonders if some of the choices the committee is making are really green.
Compostable products, such as forks and knives made from corn starch, are often imported from Asia, delivered to the U.S. in fuel-consuming ships. But some U.S. products are made from recyclable pressed paper. Which decision is more environmentally sound?
It’s becoming increasingly more difficult to parody shit these days. (Link to some batshit insane woman who fashions herself an Ayn Rand-ian deep thinker).
Government asks court to block wider testing for mad cow. (AP/Yahoo! News)
The Bush administration on Friday urged a federal appeals court to stop meatpackers from testing all their animals for mad cow disease, but a skeptical judge questioned whether the government has that authority.
I just watched famed magic act (and Las Vegas stalwart) Penn and Teller perform their “act” on David Letterman.
I’ve been more entertained watching my beagle throw up on our new carpet.
Chef wants to outlaw out-of-season vegetables. (Reuters)
Celebrity British chef Gordon Ramsay said restaurants should be fined if they serve out-of-season fruit and vegetables.
“I don’t want to see asparagus in the middle of December. I don’t want to see strawberries from Kenya in the middle of March. I want to see it home-grown,” he said after raising his concerns with Prime Minister Gordon Brown.
“Fruit and veg should be seasonal. Chefs should be fined if they don’t have ingredients in season on their menu,” he told the BBC on Friday.
Ramsay, whose London restaurants include Petrus and The Savoy Grill, said Britain had become a nation of lazy eaters who followed trends and fads rather than substance.
“There should be stringent laws, licensing laws, to make sure produce is only used in season and season only,” he added.
Punishment should include having to watch the same Hell’s Kitchen episode on a continuous loop for 72 hours.
Déjà Vu Dining. (NY Times)
Summary: “Elitists” visit the chain restaurants of the suburban hinterlands; discover the natives are bitter and cling to their Bloomin’ Onions and fried potato skins.
All salmon fishing banned on West Coast.
Salmon fishing was banned along the West Coast for the first time in 160 years Thursday, a decision that is expected to have a devastating economic impact on fishermen, dozens of businesses, tourism and boating.
Commerce Secretary Carlos Gutierrez immediately declared a commercial fishery disaster, opening the door for Congress to appropriate money for anyone who will be economically harmed.
The closure of commercial and recreational fishing for chinook salmon in the ocean off California and most of Oregon was announced by the National Marine Fishery Service.
It followed the recommendation last month of the Pacific Fishery Management Council after the catastrophic disappearance of California’s fabled fall run of the pink fish popularly known as king salmon.
It is the first total closure since commercial fishing started in the Bay Area in 1848.
Cheeseburger to cost beefy £85. (The Sun, which is a horrible UK tabloid that features topless women)
FAST food chain Burger King are to serve up the world’s most expensive takeaway – costing a whopping £85.
There’s no common old meat in this burger. It will contain top-quality Kobe beef from Japan. And instead of ketchup and cheddar, it will be garnished with foie gras – a goose delicacy – and rare blue cheese.
But BK customers will still be able to buy regular fries and a fizzy drink to help it down.
It will be launched in selected branches next month, with London’s upmarket Kensington and Chelsea tipped to get the posh burger first.
At £85, it is in marked contrast to deadly rival McDonald’s who offer a budget burger for just 99p.
Launching the most expensive takeaway in town may seem odd during the credit crunch.
But Lucy Barrett, of Marketing Magazine, said: “The idea of a burger that no one buys is not as ludicrous as it seems. Burger King will use it to promote a gap in perception between it and McDonald’s. It could lead consumers to reassess the quality of the brand.”
First of all, that’s $136 USD, but could increase steadily as the dollar tanks. Second of all, it doesn’t even include fries and a drink, which probably costs BK pennies?
Third of all…Lucy Barrett? Bill Hicks has some advice for you.
Recession Diet Just One Way to Tighten Belt. (NY Times)
Stung by rising gasoline and food prices, Americans are finding creative ways to cut costs on routine items like groceries and clothing, forcing retailers, restaurants and manufacturers to decode the tastes of a suddenly thrifty public.
Spending data and interviews around the country show that middle- and working-class consumers are starting to switch from name brands to cheaper alternatives, to eat in instead of dining out and to fly at unusual hours to shave dollars off airfares.
Though seemingly small, the daily trade-offs they are making — more pasta and less red meat, more video rentals and fewer movie tickets — amount to an important shift in consumer behavior.
Environmental Cost of Shipping Groceries Around the World. (NY Times)
Food has moved around the world since Europeans brought tea from China, but never at the speed or in the amounts it has over the last few years. Consumers in not only the richest nations but, increasingly, the developing world expect food whenever they crave it, with no concession to season or geography.
Increasingly efficient global transport networks make it practical to bring food before it spoils from distant places where labor costs are lower. And the penetration of mega-markets in nations from China to Mexico with supply and distribution chains that gird the globe — like Wal-Mart, Carrefour and Tesco — has accelerated the trend.
But the movable feast comes at a cost: pollution — especially carbon dioxide, the main global warming gas — from transporting the food.
The wonder fish. (Fortune/CNN Money, via Ezra Klein)
So just what is Kona Kampachi? Think of it as a more versatile cousin of hamachi. It’s not genetically engineered in any way, just well bred. It’s sashimi-grade and sustainably farmed without hormones or prophylactic antibiotics. It’s richer in omega-3 than just about anything else in the ocean and has no detectable mercury. It melts on your tongue, holds up on the grill, and is so rich in oils that it’ll fry in a pan without butter.
Pregnant women, nursing moms, young children: Eat as much as you want of what might just be the best-tasting fish you’ve ever had. Really. It’s that good.
Bakers feeling pinch of short supplies. (Reuters)
Rye flour stocks have been depleted in the United States, and by June or July there will be no more U.S. rye flour to purchase, said Lee Sanders, senior vice president for government relations and public affairs at the American Bakers Association.
A Drought in Australia, a Global Shortage of Rice. (NY Times)
DENILIQUIN, Australia — Lindsay Renwick, the mayor of this dusty southern Australian town, remembers the constant whir of the rice mill. “It was our little heartbeat out there, tickety-tick-tickety,” he said, imitating the giant fans that dried the rice, “and now it has stopped.”
The Deniliquin mill, the largest rice mill in the Southern Hemisphere, once processed enough grain to meet the needs of 20 million people around the world. But six long years of drought have taken a toll, reducing Australia’s rice crop by 98 percent and leading to the mothballing of the mill last December.
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The collapse of Australia’s rice production is one of several factors contributing to a doubling of rice prices in the last three months — increases that have led the world’s largest exporters to restrict exports severely, spurred panicked hoarding in Hong Kong and the Philippines, and set off violent protests in countries including Cameroon, Egypt, Ethiopia, Haiti, Indonesia, Italy, Ivory Coast, Mauritania, the Philippines, Thailand, Uzbekistan and Yemen.
Looks like Cookie McCain knows how to copy and paste.
Is this really a surprise? You can’t really blame her, as you know she didn’t even have anything to do with that website. I doubt she’s cooked anything beyond a hot toddy.
Though, she does seem remarkably not unlike a certain Food Network personality.
Piling on the Food Network is hardly original. I know. It’s practically a cottage industry in the “blogoshpere”, and it’s been done here before and in much more eviscerating fashion elsewhere.
Like most self-absorbed “foodies”, I’ve long tired of the Food Network and their endless attempts to shove perk and pomp up our asses. There was a time when the channel was a mildly interesting conceit, but that ship has longed sailed, punctuated by endless “Food Challenges” that eventually culminated in a contest to determine who can build the the largest agar agar-crusted, cake-like confectionary public works project in the shape of a lovable Disney Character (broadcast from Epcot Center).
Some time in the late nineties, with the ascension of Emeril, the Food Network became decidely personality-driven, which gave way to the rise of other bankable brands such as Tyler Florence and Alton Brown. Bobby Flay was given ample face time, graduating from “Grilling and Chilling” to a myriad of shows, including “Boy Meets Grill”, another show whose name escapes me where he hammed it up with that vaguely hot New York chicksa in front of an audience of metrosexuals and Sharper Image enthusiasts, “Iron Chef America”, and “Throwdown with Bobby Flay”.
The opposite gender was also featured prominently. Giada de Laurentis flashed smiles and breasts in her plucky routine, charming herself into several different shows of late that properly showcase her huge teeth. Ina Garten gave us a slightly creepy Mrs. Robinson, breathily mugging for the camera as if she’s shamelessly coming on to you everytime she makes a salad. I secretly think she keeps a 14-year old Samoan male on the side when Jeffrey leaves for the city to stockbroke or whatever he does to subsidize her Long Island lifestyle of table decorations, effusive gardening, and the endless parade of oh-so talented gay friends.
Sandra Lee seemed like a fusion of the Mary Kate/Ashley Olson Wonder Twins, all grown up and joined together in the shape of a percoset-hungry housewife who lives in the shadow of an abusive husband with a predeliction for cheap bourbon and forced threesomes. You can actually smell the heavy stank of Aquanet and desperation seeping through the television.
The Food Network soon morphed, however, almost entirely into the network of Rachael Ray, whose unbridled, percolating ebullience makes you understand why the Terrorists really hate us. However, with Ray spread thin of late with her own show and magazine and hanging out with Oprah at Chippendales, a void of sorts has been created, a chasm from whose distended belly erupted that peroxide-stained bobblehead toolshed named Guy Fieri.
You might have seen Fieri in “Diners, Dives, and Drive-ins”, where he roams America’s backwoods looking for honest grub. Apparently, despite constantly making the show about him rather than the people he’s in the business of exposing (or maybe because of this), Food Network has decided to give him another show, “Guy’s Big Bite”.
Nothing really prepared me, however, for the “Ultimate Recipe Showdown”. The show itself is kinda like “Iron Chef” for people who think “Iron Chef” is too educational. Three contestants compete to complete the best dish based on a particular theme (in this case, fried chicken).
It was hosted by Fieri and Marc Summers (nee Marc Berkowitz). The latter personality normally talks you through a half-hour look behind the scenes in “Unwrapped”, a show that exposes how industrial grade surimi is produced, thus scarring you for life. Summers was also once the host of Nickelodean’s “Double Dare”, where he similarly vacillated between effortless cipher and cheerful douchebag. There was a moment in the opening intro of “Ultimate Recipe Showdown” whereupon Summers enunciated every syllable of Fieri’s surname with such Italian-inflected patois that you’re simultaneously suprised by the jarring dissonance and astonished that he’s not an android.
Fieri actually used the line “Domo Arigato on that one, Mr. Summers” when describing one contestant’s decision to use panko in creating her chicken katsu. And when he uttered that phrase, a little kitten was mauled by a panther. He later said “Ain’t no thing but a chicken wing” in regards to another contestant’s (this was an African-American woman, incidentally) recipe for fried chicken wings with fruit sauce, exhibiting that Guy Fieri’s erudite Urban Dictionary prowess is dangerous enough to set race relations back half a decade or so.
This is typical of the banter thrown around during a typical episode:
GF: “Summers(1)…I’ve seen meatballs deep fried.”
MS (incredulously): “Really?”
GF: “Oh…slamma damma ding dong!”
I really have a hard time understanding why the Food Network has decided that Guy Fieri was it. He emerged victorious from the scrum that was the second “The Next Food Network Star”2, but never seemed to possess that je ne sa quoi that I thought America would require out of its future Applebee’s pitchmen.
But what do I know. Apparently what America really wants is some pear-shaped loser who looks like he totally owns Smashmouth on karaoke night, who buys all his shirts from PacSun and all his Dep gel from The Dollar Tree. He also owns restaurants in California with names like “Johnny Garlic’s California Pasta Grill”, and “Russell Ramsay’s Chop House” and “Tex Wasabi’s Rock-N-Roll Sushi-BBQ”. All of these names are horribly embarrasing. If anybody you knew asked you to meet for some “Killer Shrimp Yaki-Flautas” and a stiff “Kick-Assarita” and at any of the aforementioned places, you would feel immediately compelled to punch that person in the face.
Ultimate Recipe Showdown
Check your local listings.
1 Fieri frat-affectively calls Summers by his last name, which seems rather misplaced considering this name is completely fabricated.
2 By the way, where did they stash the two gay guys who won the first The Next Food Network Star? Did test marketing snuff their nascent Food Network careers? Did they not play well in Peoria? Were closeted gay homophobes who secretly wished Tyler Florence would baste them too threatened by an openly gay couple?
Does this affect you? Do you care?
Here in the U.S., the cost of food has been rising exponentially as we’ve foolishly hitched our wagons (literally) to ethanol. Crops that were once staples in the food cycle, such as corn, are being used to produce fuel in a zero-sum game, and the results are riots in Mexico over the price of tortillas.
A common trope repeated by armchair chaos theorists is that when a butterfly bats its wings, a hurricane can result halfway across the world. However, this appears to be happening at a macro scale in our own country, as rising prices affect everything from eggs to beer.
- Surging costs of groceries hit home
- Grand Rapids-area bakeries hit by rising flour prices
- Rising flour prices send pizzerias scrambling
- Beer Prices Rising Amid Crop Shortage
Working-class Americans are increasingly bearing the brunt of these increased costs (“Middle class Long Islanders turning to food pantries”) as rising wholesale prices are feeding an alarming, worldwide inflationary spike.
We are experiencing a perfect storm, as energy and fuel prices climb, the world’s shaky financial markets continue to deteriorate as a result of greed and malfeasance, and a maturing world population has pushed grain demand to levels unseen. A growing, foreign middle class are patterning their lifestyles much in the way we Americans have been living for decades. This burgeoning affluence has pushed demand for fuel and energy to an all-time high, and millions of middle-class Chinese with a newfound taste for meat are helping to feed a vicious cycle which usurps grain stores at exponential rate (to serve as livestock feed) and burns the massive amounts of fuel necessary to sustain this consumption.
Food riots are breaking out all across the world, which leads to food protectionism as foreign countries limit exports to mitigate domestic upheaval. History indicates (“Rice Riots of 1918”) rising food prices, particularly grain, can be a bellwether from which to gauge growing societal entropy. Just last month, the price of rice in Asia surged 30% in a single day.
The lack of deference to this subject paid by the American mainstream media is disgusting, but hardly surprising. The questions are too myriad to attempt to cogently address, and our current clueless cadre of politicians are hopelessly inept, more concerned with American flag lapel pins and justifying 100 years of troop presence in an area of the world that will soon be ground zero for the entropic decay associated with the eventual end of cheap energy.
With that in mind, Tommy@Macerating Shallots has tagged me for a six word memoir meme. 66.67% of my memoir I will directly rip off from William Butler Yeats:
“The centre cannot hold: we’re fucked“.
As Prices Rise, Farmers Spurn Conservation. (NY Times)
Thousands of farmers are taking their fields out of the government’s biggest conservation program, which pays them not to cultivate. They are spurning guaranteed annual payments for a chance to cash in on the boom in wheat, soybeans, corn and other crops. Last fall, they took back as many acres as are in Rhode Island and Delaware combined.
Environmental and hunting groups are warning that years of progress could soon be lost, particularly with the native prairie in the Upper Midwest. But a broad coalition of baking, poultry, snack food, ethanol and livestock groups say bigger harvests are a more important priority than habitats for waterfowl and other wildlife. They want the government to ease restrictions on the preserved land, which would encourage many more farmers to think beyond conservation.
Kerry Dockter, a rancher in Denhoff, N.D., has about 450 acres of grassland in the program. “When this program first came about, it was a pretty good thing,” he said. “But times have definitely changed.”
The government payments, Mr. Dockter said, “aren’t even comparable anymore” to what he could make by working the land. He plans to devote some of his conservation acres to growing feed for his cows and some to grazing. He might also lease some land to neighbors.
For years, the problem with cropland was that there was too much of it, which kept food prices low to the benefit of consumers and the detriment of farmers.
Now, because of a growing global middle class as well as federal mandates to turn large amounts of corn into ethanol-based fuel, food prices are beginning to jump. Cropland is suddenly in heavy demand, a situation that is fraying old alliances, inspiring new ones and putting pressure on the Agriculture Department, which is being lobbied directly by all sides without managing to satisfy any of them.
Some Good News on Food Prices. (NY Times)
Michael Pollen, in The Omnivore’s Dilemma, argued (among other things) that as a nation we do not pay enough for our food.
Along with some other critics of the American way of eating, he likes the idea that some kinds of food will cost more, and here’s one reason why: As the price of fossil fuels and commodities like grain climb, nutritionally questionable, high-profit ingredients like high-fructose corn syrup will, too. As a result, Cokes are likely to get smaller and cost more. Then, the argument goes, fewer people will drink them.
And if American staples like soda, fast-food hamburgers and frozen dinners don’t seem like such a bargain anymore, the American eating public might turn its attention to ingredients like local fruits and vegetables, and milk and meat from animals that eat grass. It turns out that those foods, already favorites of the critics of industrial food, have also dodged recent price increases.
Logic would dictate that arguing against cheap food would be the wrong move when the Consumer Price Index puts food costs at about 4.5 percent more this year than last. But for locavores, small growers, activist chefs and others, higher grocery bills might be just the thing to bring about the change they desire.
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“It’s very hard to argue for higher food prices because you are ceding popular high ground to McDonald’s when you do that,” said Mr. Pollan, a contributor to The New York Times Magazine and author of “In Defense of Food: An Eater’s Manifesto” (Penguin Press). “But higher food prices level the playing field for sustainable food that doesn’t rely on fossil fuels.”
Interesting—if somewhat flawed—logic. Though, here’s a question (ignoring the actual tilling and harvesting machinery): how does the food get to the market? I haven’t seen any teams of pack mules on the 99W lately.
Food Stamp Use at Record Pace as Jobs Vanish. (NY Times)
Driven by a painful mix of layoffs and rising food and fuel prices, the number of Americans receiving food stamps is projected to reach 28 million in the coming year, the highest level since the aid program began in the 1960s.
The number of recipients, who must have near-poverty incomes to qualify for benefits averaging $100 a month per family member, has fluctuated over the years along with economic conditions, eligibility rules, enlistment drives and natural disasters like Hurricane Katrina, which led to a spike in the South.
But recent rises in many states appear to be resulting mainly from the economic slowdown, officials and experts say, as well as inflation in prices of basic goods that leave more families feeling pinched. Citing expected growth in unemployment, the Congressional Budget Office this month projected a continued increase in the monthly number of recipients in the next fiscal year, starting Oct. 1 — to 28 million, up from 27.8 million in 2008, and 26.5 million in 2007.
The percentage of Americans receiving food stamps was higher after a recession in the 1990s, but actual numbers are expected to be higher this year.
Federal benefit costs are projected to rise to $36 billion in the 2009 fiscal year from $34 billion this year.
High Rice Cost Creating Fears of Asia Unrest. (NY Times)
HANOI — Rising prices and a growing fear of scarcity have prompted some of the world’s largest rice producers to announce drastic limits on the amount of rice they export.
The price of rice, a staple in the diets of nearly half the world’s population, has almost doubled on international markets in the last three months. That has pinched the budgets of millions of poor Asians and raised fears of civil unrest.
Shortages and high prices for all kinds of food have caused tensions and even violence around the world in recent months. Since January, thousands of troops have been deployed in Pakistan to guard trucks carrying wheat and flour. Protests have erupted in Indonesia over soybean shortages, and China has put price controls on cooking oil, grain, meat, milk and eggs.
Food riots have erupted in recent months in Guinea, Mauritania, Mexico, Morocco, Senegal, Uzbekistan and Yemen. But the moves by rice-exporting nations over the last two days — meant to ensure scarce supplies will meet domestic needs — drove prices on the world market even higher this week.
Following up on the last post about the distribution of wealth vis-a-vis Starbucks tip jars, last Monday night I went to Berbati’s to see Jens Lekman. On a table inside the entrance, set up to collect ticket money and check off names from the will-call list, was a fucking tip jar.
After paying over $6 beyond the face value of a ticket for “convenience” fees, just to get my name on a list so that it can be crossed out…and you’re expecting a fucking tip? Go blow an alpaca, you entitled piece of shit.
Lean Cuisine. (Willamette Week)
Portland’s alt-weekly (the one with less female escort ads) explores the economic ennui that has seeped into our burg’s sprawling restaurant scene. Choice bits:
Just in the past few months, a number of what looked like solid dining hot spots have closed, including expense account-friendly Tondero, the eco-focused Terroir, downhome Lagniappe, chi-chi Hurley’s and the offal-obsessed Alberta Street Oyster House (which found a new owner and has since reopened).
…
“January was not a good month for the restaurant business in Portland,” says David Machado, the owner-chef of Southeast’s Vindalho and Lauro, WW Restaurant of the Year 2004. “If anyone says it was, they’re in la-la land.”
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“I raised prices for the first time in a long time,” says Lisa Schroeder, owner-chef of Mother’s Bistro. “I basically give away my lox platter. At $14 I am not even covering my costs. The bagel alone is two bucks. But people in this town are only willing to pay so much for a dish. People in this town are too frugal.”
…
To give but one example of the importance of Portland’s dining scene, consider what Brian Ramsay, a broker for Realty Trust Group, has to say about the role great restaurants have in his business. “People who move to the Pearl District are focused on surrounding businesses, especially restaurants,” he says. “These people eat out every night and want quality food options to go with their condo.”
The short-term solution lies with us. If we want to keep up our town’s foodie rep, we have to step up to the plate, literally, and eat out.
You hear that? It’s your fault. You need to eat out more, you inconsiderate fuckers.
Iron Chef Boyardee. (Village Voice)
That, I figured, was an important consideration. I had been told that the Food Network threatened anyone who attended with a million-dollar fine if they revealed anything about the episode before it aired. But there are no worries now; the episode finally showed up on TV a couple of weeks ago, and it only confirmed what I’d realized as I sat in the audience last year:
Iron Chef America is more bogus than even I had imagined.
I knew the emperor had no clothes when I saw the chairman’s nephew in a B-movie action flick on cable.
Honey, will you marry… Oh. Never mind… (Reuters via Yahoo! News)
Hajji, of Hackney, east London, had concealed a $12,000 engagement ring inside a helium balloon. The idea was that she would pop the balloon as he popped the question.
But as he left the shop, a gust of wind pulled the balloon from his hand and he watched the ring — and quite possibly the affections of his girlfriend — sailing away over the rooftops.
“I couldn’t believe it,” he told The Sun newspaper.
“I just watched as it went further and further into the air.
“I felt like such a plonker. It cost a fortune and I knew my girlfriend would kill me.”
Hajji spent two hours in his car trying to chase and find the balloon, without success.
“I thought I would give Leanne a pin so I could literally pop the question,” he said.
Last night I bought a anniversary card for my wife, and left it at the checkstand. I feel your pain, dude.
Slashfood Talks: Mark Bittman responds with tinge of sarcasm. (Slashfood).
No. He is not.
What they didn’t tell you about recent meat recall. (Chicago Tribune via Seattle Times)
Those products include two versions of Nestlé’s Hot Pocket sandwiches, Heinz’s Boston Market lasagna with meat sauce, General Mills’ Progresso Italian Wedding Soup and a variety of meat products from ConAgra, ranging from Slim Jim snacks to Hunt’s Manwich Original Sloppy Joe Sauce.
The companies stressed that the use of Hallmark/Westland meat was limited, and that they notified retailers and told them to pull those products.
But none had taken the usual step of notifying consumers through news releases and warnings on Web sites.
Why the secrecy? In part because the recall is indirect; the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) urged Hallmark/Westland to contact food producers that use its meat and urge them to pull their products. But the USDA did not contact food producers.
The food manufacturers said they are under no obligation to notify consumers.
Queue up Jim Gaffigan singing voice: “Death Pocket!”
Iron Chef America: Supreme Cuisine officially cooked up for Wii, DS. (Joystiq)
Few details about the game are currently known, other than it will feature “a series of fast-paced and intense culinary challenges,” and that players will compete in Kitchen Stadium to become the next Iron Chef.
Iron Chef America: Supreme Cuisine will also include the likeness of show host Mark Dacascos, who replaced the original pepper-eating (not to mention snappily dressing) Takeshi Kaga. As much as we’d like to get behind the idea of waving our arms in the air in order to make squid ink ice creme or rabbit kidney stew, we’re disappointed that the game will be based on Iron Chef’s North American incarnation instead of the original, albeit more absurd Japanese original. Nevertheless — Allez Cuisine!
Here’s a hint: don’t choose Cat Cora, or you’re bound to lose.
Anybody watch the opening of SNL last night?
The last time I endured something so painfully unfunny, I was at a funeral.
The lovely and talented holybasil at Hot.Sour.Salty.Sweet. And Umami has tagged me for the Five Things meme. I have been tagged before, but I’m a good sport so I’ll take my marching orders in stride. However, I am going to respectfully decline to disseminate the meme—for now—as I feel I’ve already spread the love once.
Here we go, Five Things, redux:
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1. There was an occasion, in the nineties, whereupon I woke up one morning and decided to wear jean shorts—aka “jorts”—that day. For this I am very, very ashamed, and would like to use this opportunity to apologize as profusely as possible.
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2. I graduated from the University of Arizona, yet I don’t call myself an “alumni” as I never received my degree. The bursar’s office demanded that I pay $60+ for a book that I know for certain I returned to the library. They withheld my diploma, and soon began to send me menacing collection notices for a period of time, which I dutifully waited out. Now that I’ve completely paid off the thousands of dollars in outstanding student loans + interest, I feel I’ve completely stuck it to them and have emerged victorious from this scrum. Advantage: me.
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3. Some of my earliest food memories are from the first and second grade, living up in Westminster, Orange County (Southern California). I remember eating smashed bird chilies and salt with mango, chicken soup made from a freshly killed pet, and, strangely enough, still-born duck fetuses. I kid you not. I remember distinctly that we kept duck eggs in our garage, and I would tap to break off the top portion of the egg. This severed portion of the shell would be lifted to reveal a half-developed duck—head, beak, body and all. I would pour an insane amount of salt into the egg and dig into the muck with a spoon. Jesus fucking christ that’s depraved.
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4. I once worked at a purportedly “fine-dining” continental restaurant during my college years. We wore tuxes, and my job ostensibly was to wheel around a cart stocked with various spirits, ingredients, and assorted tools. We’d construct table-side caesar salads, steak tartares, as well as flambé entrees and desserts such as steak diane, ouzo prawns, cherries jubilee and bananas foster.
It was probably the worst-run restaurant in America. The owner was in his eighties and also owned all KFC’s in the area, and kept the restaurant as some weird vanity money pit. The maître d/general manager dealt cocaine AND steroids out of the office, and hired all his friends from high school on which he had man crushes on (many of whom were jocko roid-heads who allowed him to inject steroids in their butts). The rest of the staff were stoners and ex-cons. In the wine room, where the lone bottle of Château Margaux used to be (one drunken night, after shift, we drank it) was ready-to-serve pot paraphernalia. The head chef brought on his buddy as grill cook. One day the first week he was on shift, I walked back into the kitchen, and this 6′8″ guy—tatted to the gills, looking like a Motörhead roadie, trimming the silverskin off an entire beef tenderloin and slicing of little pieces of raw chunks and popping them in his mouth like they were M&Ms—asked me if I wanted to buy methamphetamine.
After a long run, the owner decided he had had enough and was going to close the place once and for all, and the entire staff used the last week of existence as a trial run towards depravity. Everybody left closing night with a bittersweet, empty feeling in the pit of their stomachs. What would we do with our lives, unemployed, over the course of a hot, listless Arizona summer? Then three weeks later we got a call informing us the owner ran into some snag with his lease, and they would be opening for dinner that night and we could all have our jobs back—an offer some of us accepted. When we arrived at work we realized half of our glassware, dishware, serving and kitchen equipment had been carted off in the dead of night by the former staff on closing night, three weeks earlier.
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5. I love MSG. I think it is God’s cocaine.
Why Does Popcorn Cost So Much at the Movies? (Physorg.com)
New research from Stanford and the University of California, Santa Cruz suggests that there is a method to theaters’ madness–and one that in fact benefits the viewing public. By charging high prices on concessions, exhibition houses are able to keep ticket prices lower, which allows more people to enjoy the silver-screen experience.
The findings empirically answer the age-old question of whether it’s better to charge more for a primary product (in this case, the movie ticket) or a secondary product (the popcorn). Putting the premium on the “frill” items, it turns out, indeed opens up the possibility for price-sensitive people to see films. That means more customers coming to theaters in general, and a nice profit from those who are willing to fork it over for the Gummy Bears.
I’ll have to take their word for it. I’ve seen exactly one movie in the theaters in the last four years. The popcorn and hot dogs cost too much.
“Impossible” Chef Caught in Very Possible Lies (TMZ.com – h/t Joisey@PortlandFood.org)
The hard-ass British chef who stars in Food Network’s “Dinner: Impossible” is finding that spinning tall tales about one’s background is no cakewalk — and now the network says it’s investigating his alleged misrepresentations. Oh, deah.
Robert Irvine has claimed all over the place that he’d helped design Prince Charles and Princess Di’s wedding cake, among other things. But after an oddly thorough investigation by the St. Petersburg Times, Irvine admits he didn’t really bake it — or have anything to do with it … and that’s just the icing.
“It’s unfortunate if Robert embellished the extent of his culinary experiences,” said a Food Network rep. “We are investigating the matter and taking the necessary steps to ensure the accuracy of all representations of Robert on Food Network and foodnetwork.com.”
The Food Network also had an incident during the very last Search for the Next Food Network Douchebag™ where that guy (who was probably going to actually win the thing) was discovered to have lied about being an Iraq War vet.
You think a major league outfit like the Food Network would vet their talent a little more efficiently. They seem to have the pre-screening acumen displayed by the Bush Administration when it came time to staff FEMA.
What next? Might we find out that Guy Fieri’s hair color is—gasp—unnatural?
Michelin Gives Stars, but Tokyo Turns Up Nose. (NY Times)
Many prominent figures of the Tokyo food world, however, are saying to Michelin, in effect, thanks for all the attention (which we deserve), but you still do not know us or our cuisine.
Food critics, magazines and even the governor of Tokyo have questioned the guide’s choice of restaurants and ratings. A handful of chefs proudly proclaimed that they had turned down chances to be listed. One, Toshiya Kadowaki, said his nouveau Japonais dishes, including a French-inspired rice with truffles, did not need a Gallic seal of approval.
…
“Anybody who knows restaurants in Tokyo knows that these stars are ridiculous,” said Toru Kenjo, president of Gentosha publishing house, whose men’s fashion magazine, Goethe, published a lengthy critique of the Tokyo guide last month. “Michelin has debased its brand. It won’t sell as well here in the future.”
Up here in Oregon, the winters are bleak and stark, with weeks upon consecutive weeks of rain and grey. There’s a phenomenon called “Seasonal Affective Disorder” that can be used to explain the winter doldrums we experience in the Pacific Northwest (although we tend to call it by its less-pedantic moniker, “alcoholism”). While I wait for the return of the sun and the dissipation of the thick cloud cover, I can’t help but focus on how old I’ve become.
I turned 35 a half year ago, and for me it was a watershed milestone. I’m now officially middle-aged. (I base this assumption upon the fact that 67 is the retirement age that the Social Security Administration deems you’ve slaved long enough to collect full benefits. I then add over two years to this number for that realization to actually sink in).
At the time of my birthday, I had no time to reflect or dwell, as my wife was in the hospital undergoing the second of two major surgeries to remove cancerous tumors from her mid-section, and my best friend was in another hospital barely cheating death with a nasty bout of lymphoblastic leukemia. Also, it was Venezuelan Flag Day, which for socialist Hugo-philes like myself is equivalent of Christmas and Bastille Day rolled into one.
Now that things have slowed down a bit, I’m now awash in the morass of listlessness and depression that accompanies the gradual march towards death. Also, my Arizona Wildcats are in danger of missing the NCAA men’s basketball tournament for the first time in 24 years, and Mike Huckabee is no longer a viable candidate for the Republican presidential nominee, which means that we will not have a candidate this year that believed Man and Dinosaur both existed at the same time. Calgon, take me away.
You know you’re old if:
- You reach for salt in your kitchen and realize—in addition to kosher and iodized salt—you have 9 types of sea salt
- After your daughter knocks your beer chalice off the table and breaks the glass, spilling witbier all over the carpet and sofa, causing your wife to yell at you for playing ball in the house, you realize at this point in your life there’s pretty much nothing she can say or do to ever make you stop
- Dinner and a movie becomes just dinner or just a movie and then becomes sitting on the couch with a laptop and yelling at the Internet
- If in previous decades you used to look in the mirror and see promise and potential, you now remark to yourself, “Wow, time to tame those nose hairs”
- You remember when rap music didn’t suck
- You’re thinking about rehab because the first one didn’t “take”
- Your anger and resentment transgresses from players and the coach and shoots up the vitriol hierarchy to the actual baseball GMs themselves
- You have a food blog
- You stop and consider the full implications of amortization
- You get replacement earphones for your iPod because you feel self-conscious with white earbuds in public
- You are resentful that another one of your friends is getting married, not because you’re losing a friend to marriage or that it reminds you that everybody’s getting older, but because you’re compelled to go to Las Vegas and suffer through a punishing weekend
- You foment a fondness for a certain brand of toilet paper
- You take the bus downtown on New Year’s Eve and realize everybody on the bus is younger than you and has spent more money on their clothes
- Flipping through the channels, you come across Suze Orman and don’t immediately change the channel
- You call up your mobile phone provider and yell at them for the 3rd time to remove incoming text capabilities from your device
- You need a vacation to recover from your vacation
- You have a difficult time keeping track of which celebrities are dead or alive
- You reflexively spew invectives at anybody who tells you to visit their MySpace page
- While paging through the recorded episodes on your DVR, you realize that it’s 50% PBS shows—including Ruff Ruffman, Frontline, and Clifford the Big Red Dog
- You develop curmudgeonly insane rationalizations, such as “I’ll reduce my carbon footprint the moment somebody perfects microwave pizza”
- You’ve rearranged your garage for the third time in as many months
- One of your favorite bands is playing, and you say “I’ll just catch them next time they come to town on the back leg of the current tour” and the band either breaks up or dies before you can do so
- Your skepticism is no longer reserved for standard, questionable precepts such as Religion and Government, and instead trades in theories related to the systemic suppression of Monosodium Glutamate
Lawmaker: USDA shouldn’t cover food safety. (MSNBC)
A lawmaker called Tuesday for the U.S. Department of Agriculture to be stripped of its responsibility for food safety in the wake of the nation’s largest-ever meat recall.
The agency’s twin mandates of promoting the nation’s agriculture and monitoring it for safety have become blurred, Rep. Rosa L. DeLauro said.
“Food safety ought to be of a high enough priority in this nation that we have a single agency that deals with it and not an agency that is responsible for promoting a product, selling a product and then as an afterthought dealing with how our food supply is safe,” said DeLauro, a Connecticut Democrat who chairs the House subcommittee responsible for the USDA’s funding.
Hard to say if a new bureaucratic arm of the federal government is the answer, but it’s clear the present system is broken. The market has decided: we don’t care if you die.
Cadbury thinks out of the box with ‘eco-egg’. (Guardian UK)
Cadbury Schweppes, which makes half of Britain’s Easter eggs, is trialling an unboxed “eco-egg” as part of its efforts to reduce 30% of its carbon emissions by 2020.
The foil-wrapped, hollowed out eggs are being sold under the Mini Eggs, Dairy Milk and Dairy Milk Caramel labels from moulded plastic casing preventing the eggs from rolling around on the shelf.
Cadbury said it was confident there was significant demand for such an offering despite the fact that many eggs are bought as gifts.
The global warming canard is so pervasive it now threatens how we enjoy Easter. I promise that for every Cadbury eco-terrorist chocolate confection sold, I will personally operate my lawn mower for 30 seconds.
We must alternately eat PEEPS® in order to save America, properly acknowledge the resurrection of Jesus, and heal the wounds of humanity.
Luckily, before then there’s St. Patrick’s Day and we can get totally trashed.
USDA Makes Nation’s Largest Beef Recall. (AP)
The U.S. Department of Agriculture on Sunday recalled 143 million pounds of frozen beef from a California slaughterhouse, the subject of an animal-abuse investigation, that provided meat to school lunch programs.
Officials said it was the largest beef recall in the United States, surpassing a 1999 ban of 35 million pounds of ready-to-eat meats. No illnesses have been linked to the newly recalled meat, and officials said the health threat was likely small.
The recall will affect beef products dating to Feb. 1, 2006, that came from Chino-based Westland/Hallmark Meat Co., the federal agency said.
Hallmark Meat Co.?
Cocoa bean harvest puts kids at risk despite chocolate makers’ efforts. (Canadian Press via Topix)
Instead of rich and creamy sweetness, chocolate’s aftertaste may be stomach-turning bitterness once consumers learn that poor farmers are forced to use child labour to harvest cocoa beans.
Even as the chocolate industry is trying to curb unsavoury cocoa-farming practices in Ivory Coast and Ghana, Canadian aid workers, among others, are disappointed in the industry’s snail’s pace at dealing with the issue.
The Westminster Kennel Club gave a long-awaited Best in Show this year to a beagle.
As my own beagle would say, “It’s about fucking time, bitch.”
US store chain cuts sales of food from China. (Yahoo! News)
US grocery chain Trader Joe’s said Monday it would stop selling food imported from China due to customers’ concerns about the products’ safety.
“Our customers have voiced concerns about products from this region and we have listened,” Trader Joe’s spokeswoman Alison Mochizuki said in a statement.
“All single ingredient food items sourced from mainland China sre scheduled to be out of our stores by April 1,” she said.
“We will continue to source products from other regions until our customers feel as confident as we do about the quality and safety of Chinese products.”
The 20 Worst Foods in America. (Men’s Health).
What’s the worst?
Outback Steakhouse Aussie Cheese Fries with Ranch Dressing
- 2,900 calories
- 182 g fat
- 240 g carbs
Who would have thought fried potatoes covered in cheese and dipped in pure fat would be so bad for you? I may have to re-examine the bacon-gizzard protein shakes I usually have for breakfast.
The world’s rubbish dump: a garbage tip that stretches from Hawaii to Japan (Independent UK).
A “plastic soup” of waste floating in the Pacific Ocean is growing at an alarming rate and now covers an area twice the size of the continental United States, scientists have said.
The vast expanse of debris – in effect the world’s largest rubbish dump – is held in place by swirling underwater currents. This drifting “soup” stretches from about 500 nautical miles off the Californian coast, across the northern Pacific, past Hawaii and almost as far as Japan.
Charles Moore, an American oceanographer who discovered the “Great Pacific Garbage Patch” or “trash vortex”, believes that about 100 million tons of flotsam are circulating in the region. Marcus Eriksen, a research director of the US-based Algalita Marine Research Foundation, which Mr Moore founded, said yesterday: “The original idea that people had was that it was an island of plastic garbage that you could almost walk on. It is not quite like that. It is almost like a plastic soup. It is endless for an area that is maybe twice the size as continental United States.”
“We’re in so deep that it doesn’t seem like anything will help,” said Rebekah Ao, 33, a pregnant homemaker who lives in a new four-bedroom home in Avondale with her husband, Otto, a truck driver. The Aos, with $50,000 in income, owe a total of $607,000 on mortgages for two houses they bought since they moved to the Phoenix area about two years ago.
Christ almighty, there’s so many things wrong with the above quote.
Poison Dumplings Kill Japanese Merger (Business Week)
The overnight slump in U.S. stocks was the overwhelming reason for Japan’s Nikkei 225 index plunging 4.7% on Feb. 6. But for Nissin Food Products, the company that brought the world instant noodles, it was the continuing fallout from a scandal over contaminated dumplings that sent shares into free fall, tumbling 8.5%.
Nissin’s stock is the latest innocent victim of a batch of tainted, Chinese-made gyoza dumplings, imported by Japan Tobacco’s food arm, which led to more than 10 cases of food poisoning. News of the poisonings broke last week (BusinessWeek.com, 1/31/08) and triggered a slew of recalls of products produced by Tianyang Food, the Chinese producer of the dumplings. A huge news story in Japan, the scandal also renewed fears among consumers over the safety of Chinese products.