We all know the evils of alcohol. I won’t bore you with the nasty details, but it bears mentioning the potential dangers of cooking and drinking. The former acts like a congener for the latter, in my experience.

Witness a recent conversation in our household:

Wife: Honey, can you bring up the vacuum and clean the cat litter?
Me (on the couch): (Mumbles something non-committal)
Wife: Hey! Last night you said you would help me today with any house chores and you wouldn’t complain, and then you hugged me and gave me a kiss and told me you loved me!
[Long pause]
Me: That doesn’t sound like something I’d say.