It’s National Meatloaf Appreciation Day. All the cool kids are doing cool things, conjuring up loafed meat dishes worthy of praise, like Michelle @Je Mange la Ville, who is doing things with her usual aplomb.

Me, I got nothing. I was dreaming up a layered meatloaf with alternating layers of ground pork and veal with whole cloves of roasted garlic, wild mushroom duxelle, topped with a tomato jam, but I’m moving to a new house and have spent the last 4 weeks up to my butthole in paint and bleach and hammers and kitchen shelf liner.

So I’m trotting out out an old post. Consider it made from “recycled post-consumer and post-industrial waste”. This is for kefta kabobs, which is a form of loafed meat, in this case around a metal skewer.

Happy National Meatloaf Appreciation Day. Now appreciate the fuck out this tired, recycled post, bitches.

I like kebabs. I particularly enjoy the Kefta kebab, which is ground meat formed around a skewer in kebab-like fashion. I like saying the word kefta. It’s one of those words, like película and Kofi Annan, that you never grow tired of saying. I remember when Congress a couple years ago was debating the merits of the Central America Free Trade Agreement, I secretly wished the debate would draw out into a longer, more contentious debate than it had at the time, just because I enjoyed all the talking heads uttering the acronym “CAFTA” (which was close enough for me). Each time I watched the news I’d get hungry.

You can make this with beef or lamb (or beef and lamb) as well. New Seasons sells ground lamb, though keep in mind it is very fatty and will imbue the atmosphere with quite a gamy scent for some time (especially if your hood isn’t all that). My wife was all bothered and stuff, but the deliciousness factor made her harangues worth it.

Kefta Kebab

• 1 and one-half pounds ground beef or lamb (or both!)
• 1 bunch chopped fresh Italian parsley, reserve a couple tablespoons (to cook with rice)
• 2 tablespoons chopped cilantro
• 1 egg
• 1/3 cup bread crumbs
• 3 or 4 garlic cloves, forced through a press
• 1 white onion, finely chopped
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
• 1 teaspoon ground coriander
• 1 teaspoon smoked paprika
• Ground pepper
• Salt to your taste

Combine everything in a large mixing bowl and mix together with your hands. I like to use long, flat broad metal skewers — mold the meat around the length of the skewer and pat to form an elongated, rectangular patty.

Heat a grill pan over medium-high and brown skewers on each of the 4 ends, 2 minutes or so each side. Remove and let sit for a few minutes.

You can eat this skewers by themselves. But c’mon, man, don’t be such freak.

Rice Pilaf

• Olive oil or butter (2 tablespoons)
• 2 cups basmati rice
• 2 tablespoons chopped parsley
• 3 cups chicken broth
• 1 onion, finely chopped
• 2 cloves minced garlic
• 1 chopped tomato
• Pinch of saffron
• Salt

Preheat oven to 325 F. Rinse and soak rice in water for half hour. Drain. Heat oil or butter in a medium saucepan (with a tight fitting lid) over medium heat. Add onions and sweat for a couple minutes, then add garlic, rice and saffron and sautee for a couple minutes. Add tomatoes, salt, and broth. Bring to boil, cover, and place in oven for 20 minutes. Allow the rice to sit on stovetop for 10 minutes, then fluff with a fork.

Sumac Onions

• 1 white onion, halved and sliced
• Ground sumac
• Olive oil

Sautee onions in oil. Hit with sumac when they start to caramelize, and serve over kebabs.

I like to squeeze lemon over the kebab, onions, and rice.