Via Alison @Blogtown, I was reminded of the recent opening of Mark Lindsay’s Rock & Roll Cafe, where, in addition to undoubtedly being exposed to an inordinate amount of flair, you’ll be be able to chow on creative menu items such as “Yellow Submarines” and “Freebird”.

It is a little known fact, but I do a bit of menu consultation in my free time. Here’s some of the items that did not make the cut, for some reason:

Smells Like Teen Spirit
“Chef’s Special” – A melange of pubic armpit hairs piled on top of a filet of ennui.

Bridge Over Troubled Water
Three breadsticks served over a bowl of bouillon cubes reconsititued from toilet water.

We Didn’t Start the Fire
"Wheel of Fortune, Sally Ride, heavy metal, suicide" – Our take on the RAW FOOD TSUNAMI THAT’S TAKING AMERICA BY STORM!!!

Baby Got Back (Ribs)
We gots da grills for your grillz!

You Can’t Always Get What You Want
Peking-style duck (requires 24-hour notice).

I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For
(Same as above, but requires 48-hour notice).

I Wanna Be Sedated
Chicken nuggets laced with Ritalin® (Kid’s Menu Item).

Should I Stay or Should I Go
A sloppy joe studded with Colace and served with a Kaopectate aioli (on the side).