thats just SO WRONG. i’m glad you didn’t post pics

My wife (much younger than I, if you care to know) has taken a leave of absence from her successful laser hair removal salon to train as a competitive eater in the field of “Spinach Dip.” At least she chose a HEALTHY specialty!

Is your reference to Wilt alluding to an upcoming competitive eating event at Pink Taco?

DocChuck, was that your wife I saw in training at Shuckers? You should tell her the spoon is only going to slow her down. She needs to move her face closer to the bowl. I admire her intensity and determination but her technique needs some work. Also she should stick to drinking water. Those Shirley Temples are going to give her a bellyache something fierce.

Master Shucker

I certainly hope you weren’t part of that pack of braying donkeys sitting at the bar making tasteless comments about my wife. I actually ENJOY her ample girth, thank you very much.

I certainly hope you were not part of that pack of braying donkeys sitting at the bar making ill-advised and tasteless comments about my wife. I enjoy her ample girth, thank you very much.

If you were, I shall seek out your ISP number forthwith.

No, I was amongst the howling dingos seated near the kitchen. We didn’t think you could hear our comments over the slurping noise! Sorry about that. I will save you some trouble and provide my ISP number here: 12

I have reported your ISP to the international internet authorities.

As I am sure you noticed, my wife (also a PhD, like me) bears a stiking resemblance to the “comely” Bea Arthur and as such regularly performs at Shuckers and various and sundry supper clubs in the area. The “fine” people at Shuckers have agreed to sponsor her and provide her with limitless amounts of their toothsome spinach dip.

Of course, with your lack of education, wealth and social standing you and your rabid pack of dingoes merely stew in the toxic juices of your own jealousy over the spectacle that is MY WIFE.

Yes, I am intimately familiar with the Friday Night Drag Show. Your wife’s obtrusively perspicuous rendition of “Wake Me Up (Before You Go Go)” truly brought a tear to my eye. And if you don’t mind me saying so sir, you cut a fine jib yourself in your Tommy Bahama shirt and Tilley hat!

My name is Louise, (also posting as “chiffOnade”, “realchiffonade”, “MasterShucker”, “DocChuck” and dozens of other names).

I am a general failure in life: divorced four times, contracted HepC (because of my 6 tattoos and body piercings), born to an illegal italian immigrant, factory-worker mom … she didn’t know who the father was.

A guy who I met on the internet lured me from Brooklyn to Clearwater, Florida, and then dumped me for another broad. Now I have to live on welfare. My illegitimate daughter has been in jail (drug charges) until recently, and she still won’t speak to me (blames ME for coming to Flroida).

Right now, I am ina relationship with a 400-pound slab of obese meat called the “Manager”, but at least he helps buy me food (when I “take care” of him). I may be 50 years old, fat, and ugly, but I REALLY know how to service a man.

Won’t somebody help me get back to Brooklyn?

Chas! It is “good” to see you are still “alive”. I WAS getting “concerned”.

I’m so sorry. My husband heavily abuses nasal spray and believes himself to be Louise Fletcher the nurse in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest when under the influence.