Firing up the grill? Make it a ‘rare’ occasion. (LA Times)
Nothing that good can be good for us, of course. And yes, the natural chemicals that give barbecued foods their trademark crusty-brown smokiness are toxic and carcinogenic. Researchers have linked consumption of flame-grilled meat to all sorts of ailments: breast, prostate and colon cancer; diabetes; glaucoma; heart disease; and Alzheimer’s disease.
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But you don’t have to convert to a raw food diet yet. Barbecue chemicals may be potent toxins in petri dishes and mice, but the evidence that they do the same in humans, at the doses we’re exposed to, is weaker.
Most studies find a significant increase in cancer risk only for people who eat several portions of well- or very well-done meat a week. And even then, the risk is often small. For example, a 2005 study in Cancer Research found a 21% increase in the risk of developing colon cancer precursors for people eating as much as 18 ounces of well-done red meat per day. The bottom line: A twice-weekly date with a medium-rare steak is unlikely to give you cancer any time soon.
Bottom line, stay away from well-done meat. Not only does it ruin the cut, IT WILL FUCKING KILL YOU. It should be reserved for those with suicidal tendencies and corrupt congressmen with homo-erotically polluted jacuzzi fetishes. My main man Jeffrey Steingarten speaks truth to power:
Jeffrey Steingarten, food writer for Vogue magazine, thinks very critically about what he puts in his mouth and has yet to find sufficient evidence to steer clear of a perfectly done steak — which, in his estimation, is somewhere between rare and medium rare.
For those who choose to grill their steaks to the blackened point of well-done shoe leather, his tongue-in-cheek opinion is simple: “If you eat a steak like that, you don’t deserve to live.”
I say, Duke Cunningham and friends should have as much carcinogenic blackened filet mignon packed into their pale, doughy and generously lubed homoerotic conservative tickleholes as is possible under the present laws of physics… But of course, save some for Dick…
No, wait… that last comment was an inexcusable insult to homosexuals, who incidentally I believe are entitled to all of the legal and human rights presently afforded the rest of us, and are in most cases (but not all, of course) wonderful, upstanding, law-abiding, trustworthy neighbors. I apologize wholeheartedly for this terrible transgression. What was I thinking? No, Duke and his cronies cannot be fairly compared to our gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered friends. Because Duke and cronies are… trying to come up with an adequate description… thinking… thinking… NUN-RAPERS!!! Yes, that’s it! Drooling, depraved, penetrators of the brides of our Heavenly Father! That MUST be what they are! Oh, God, I feel so much better now…
And don’t even get me started on that ravenous eater of live, squirming, adorable puppies (and kittens), Dick Cheney…
Dick Cheney eats babies, Tommy, not puppies and kittens. The fur gets stuck in his teeth.
Of course. Good point.