Today I felt like getting a sandwich. I work in exurbia, and if I want to expand beyond our campus cafeteria my sandwich choices are corporately limited, i.e. Subway and Quiznos. I opt for the latter, as eating Subway is akin to listening to Phil Collin’s Sussudio (i.e. like Cabel Sasser claims, “…it’s like not eating anything at all!”). Plus, it’s been painful watching Jerrod devolve over the years into a sanctimonious, smug pig-fucker.

Quiznos, it should be mentioned, allows you to dress your sandwich with as many pickled peppers (3 kinds!), pickles, and dressings (3 kinds!) as you’d like. For an obsessively compulsive condiment and garnish hoarder like myself, that is like oxycontin.

So I headed over to Quiznos’ presence on the Interweb to see if there were any ground-breaking announcements that would sway my impending auto excursion to its friendly environs one way or another.

Nothing to see, outside of the odd choice in subject matter for the home page poll.

Quiznos-Poll

This type of Sophie’s Choice strikes me as a bit uneven for a corporate entity with a finely honed commercial image. A card-carrying member of the hoi polloi, such a myself, might even be given pause during his innocent search for a toasted sandwich. Perhaps the website poll editor today was stricken by a bout of existential suffering that manifests via deep ruminations of life’s ethical conundrums.

If so, here are a few other poll options I feel would capture the spirit of the moment:

Watercooler-1

Watercooler-2

Watercooler-3